me when i see a cat: CAT! cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat cat
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The Zodiac Signs as Cat Actions.
Aries: Scratching the furniture.
Taurus: B*tch stares.
Gemini: Sleeping anywhere they freaking want to.
Cancer: Meowing endlessly.
Leo: Cuddles.
Virgo: Rubbing up against peoples legs.
Libra: Having staring competitions.
Scorpio: Pooping outside of the litter box.
Sagittarius: Purring softly.
Capricorn: Hissing
Aquarius: Trying to get on the counters.
Pisces: Being a comfy living heater.
when she was 7, a boy pushed her on the playground
she fell headfirst into the dirt and came up with a mouthful of gravel and lines of blood chasing each other down her legs
when she told her teacher what happened, she laughed and said ‘boys will be boys honey don’t let it bother you
he probably just thinks you’re cute’
but the thing is,
when you tell a little girl who has rocks in her teeth and scabs on her knees that hurt and attention are the same
you teach her that boys show their affection through aggression
and she grows into a young woman who constantly mistakes the two
because no one ever taught her the difference
‘boys will be boys’
turns into
‘that’s how he shows his love’
and bruises start to feel like the imprint of lips
she goes to school with a busted mouth in high school and says she was hit with a basketball instead of his fist
the one adult she tells scolds her
‘you know he loses his temper easily
why the hell did you have to provoke him?’
so she shrinks
folds into herself, flinches every time a man raises his voice
by the time she’s 16 she’s learned her job well
be quiet, be soft, be easy
don’t give him a reason
but for all her efforts, he still finds one
‘boys will be boys’ rings in her head
‘boys will be boys
he doesn’t mean it
he can’t help it’
she’s 7 years old on the playground again
with a mouth full of rocks and blood that tastes like copper love
because boys will be boys baby don’t you know
that’s just how he shows he cares
she’s 18 now and they’re drunk
in the split second it takes for her words to enter his ears they’re ruined
like a glass heirloom being dropped between the hands of generations
she meant them to open his arms but they curl his fists and suddenly his hands are on her and her head hits the wall and all of the goddamn words in the world couldn’t save them in this moment
she touches the bruise the next day
boys will be boys
aggression, affection, violence, love
how does she separate them when she learned so early that they’re inextricably bound, tangled in a constant tug-of-war
she draws tally marks on her walls ratios of kisses to bruises
one entire side of her bedroom turns purple, one entire side of her body
boys will be boys will be boys will be boys
when she’s 20, a boy touches her hips and she jumps
he asks her who the hell taught her to be scared like that and she wants to laugh
doesn’t he know that boys will be boys?
it took her 13 years to unlearn that lesson from the playground
so I guess what I’m trying to say is
i will talk until my voice is hoarse so that my little sister understands that aggression and affection are two entirely separate things
baby they exist in difference universes
my niece can’t even speak yet but I think I’ll start with her now
don’t ever accept the excuse that boys will be boys
don’t ever let him put his hands on you like that
if you see hate blazing in his eyes don’t you ever confuse it with love
baby love won’t hurt when it comes
you won’t have to hide it under long sleeves during the summer
and
the only reason he should ever reach out his hand
is to hold yours
Fortesa Latifi - Boys Will Be Boys
(And Why That Is The Stupidest Thing You Could Ever Say To A Little Girl)
My whole family assumes I’m straight and it’s like if I say anything like “wow that girl is so pretty” they’re like “you’re pretty too don’t compare yourself’ like no mom the only thing I’m comparing is the width between her legs and how well I could fit.
if u ever see a girl awkwardly trailing after a stray cat trying to get its attention that’s probably me
90% of horse movies
- girl: *finds horse who is impaired in some way*
- girl: dad can I keep it
- dad: no there's no hope for it let's go
- girl: dad u idiot u don't get me
- girl: *visits horse in middle of the night*
- *cuts to girl riding the horse in an open field bc she is free and her dad can't control her*
- dad: how dare u
- girl: just let me prove to u this horse is special
- girl: *enters race*
- girl: *wins*
- dad: u make me so proud
- horse: *whinnies*
fencing coach: how are your legs feeling after that workout?
me: sore
fencing coach: [[suddenly in a Russian accent]] Good. Make your thighs big as mother Russia. You know what they say about women with big thighs, yes?
me: [[also in a Russian accent]] Can crush head between legs like watermelon.
fencing coach:
fencing coach: [[still in a Russian accent]] You and I…we have very different fantasies
Next time you think your workplace is weird, please remember that my workplace has an annual tattoo night out, where we rent out a tattoo parlor, order pizza, play cards against humanity, and watch some of our coworkers get tattooed
Where do you work?
A library
tall people: if we are walking together please take into consideration my tiny legs. i cant keep up with you. please think of my tiny legs i dont want to be jogging to keep up with your leisurely stroll you TITANS
Just get a pair of roller skates and hang on to my sleeve, we don’t have all day.